


Phantasma

by INMH



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation Fills (2016) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Other, Pining, Self-Hatred, Shame kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:15:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6713785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 1 of mmom. She’s there in spirit, at least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phantasma

_Disgusting._  
  
He flattens himself against the bed, recoils from a glare that isn’t there.  
  
_You would do this, wouldn’t you?_  
  
In his mind’s eye, she’s sitting on the end of the bed, arms crossed over her chest, legs crossed at the knee.  
  
_You **would** be so depraved._  
  
His hand slides erratically against his cock, hips jerking sharply.  
  
_Touching yourself to the thought of me._  
  
His thumb slides around the head, pushing, rubbing.  
  
**_Pathetic_** _._  
  
His breathing’s gone shallow, harsh, and he has to fight to keep it from getting too loud, paranoid that someone might probably won’t but _maybe_ come knocking and know what he’s doing.  
  
_Can’t imagine the last time a woman actually touched you._  
  
He’d be lying if some of the mental stimulation from this venture didn’t come from him imagining himself pressed up against her in ways that were far too gentle for his reputation.  
  
_Who would want a monster in a mask, a pervert who jacks off in a dark room because he can’t get anyone else to touch him?_  
  
But much of it ( _too_ much of it) comes from the knowledge that he will likely never feel her like that, that he is everything this phantom of her claims that he is, that the disgust this intangible version of her feels towards him likely mirrors what she actually feels.  
  
_Freak._  
  
And it is _her_ that he’s attracted to, for better or worse.  
  
_Beast._  
  
This shadow of her is beside him in a few swift motions, sniffing disdainfully as he whimpers and pulls frantically on himself, one hand reaching down to fondle his balls.  
  
_Not such a terror now, are you?_  
  
“Please,”  
  
_‘Please’? Please what?_  
  
He groans, pleasure building, wishing he had something other than his hand to thrust into.  
  
_Kiss you? Touch you? Get you off?_  
  
In his mind, she leans down over him so their faces are almost touching.  
  
_Maybe you’d like me to put my mouth on you?_  
  
The thought of it is unexpected and brings him dangerously close, cock pulsing, hips thrashing off the bed once twice three-  
  
_Except that that’s never going to happen, because you are a vile, disgusting **monster,** and I’d sooner pitch myself into quicksand than let you put your filthy hands on me!_  
  
“ _Rey!_ ” He comes, and he comes hard.  
  
_Ugh_.  
  
He’s shaking, settles into the mattress, covers his eyes with the hand he wasn’t using so that he can’t see anything, can pretend that he does and doesn’t see her.  
  
_You’re sick_.  
  
“I know,” He moans to an empty room. “I know.”  
  
-End


End file.
